Tears of Joy, Smiles of Sadness...

If you're a fan of "The Big Bang Theory", chances are you recognize that phrase.  When Raj said it in an episode a couple of years ago, I thought it was hysterical.  And then I forgot about it until my husband summed up my mood with that phrase.

Today was a BIG day for me.  RT Book Review Magazine's March issue (the digital copy) came out today.  And guess who has the cover story???  ME!!  The only reason I
was aware of this was because I was scrolling through my newsfeed on Facebook and there it was!  My heart started racing and I jumped up from my seat and immediately picked up the phone and called my mom and then my husband and was just giddy!

And then I cried.

I mean I cried a LOT.

At first, they were totally tears of joy.  I made it!  I've hit a milestone in my career that I never thought possible.  And then...I was crying because someone special wasn't there with me.  My grandma.  She was a lifelong reader of romances and she died before I started self-publishing.  There are times when something really exciting happens in my career and I think "Grandma would have loved this!"  I know she's looking down at me and smiling and I like to think that she's proud.  But I miss her.

So when my husband got home from work today, I pulled up the article and showed it to him and shared how I felt earlier when I read it.  He looked at me and smiled and said, "Tears of joy, smiles of sadness".  I know he said it to lighten the mood and it did.  I did smile, but I was still a little bit sad. 

The grandmother in "Return to You" is totally based on my grandma.  I just wish she was here to read it.